There's no easy way to say this, so let me just do it hard:
We are currently pushing "Write/Hear" from the vaginal cavity and into the waiting arms of CMJ. So far, we have already been added to several shows throughout the college radio circuit. The next few weeks will show our meteoric rise to #1 in the hearts and minds of every college student across America. No book burnin' cause they're hook learnin'!
What does this mean for you and the gas prices you rail against? It means that if you live within 100 miles of Philadelphia, you will have the opportunity to have sex with/listen to/buy drinks for/sing along with the Educated Consumers in the Spring of 2008.
"Write/Hear" is being pushed by Bryan Farrish Radio Promotion. They are setting up the tour. they also coddle us and say things like, "Don't worry about the money, just pay us in smiles." Two thirds of the previous statements are true.
Anyway, all this momentum has us thinking: why stop here? Why not ride this crazy train all the way to a lucartive real estate company somehwere down the road?!?! In order to maintain the path to riches, we have established a marketing campaign for each city on the tour. Each city will get hit in the groin with the following:
-Radio and print interviews. Ask about my chili recipe, and I'll have to kill you.
-Promotional items such as press photos, full-color posters, flyers, and in-store performances.
-Street teams comprised of bored housewives looking for a lil' extra cash to spend at the club.
-Limited run Educated Consumers tee-shirts and thongs. Just ask Unicron: if you're going to destroy planets, at least do it with some style.
The tour dates will be posted shortly. Until then, let's discuss a much more important issue than the silly ol' Educated Consumers. "But Seez, what could possibly be more important than giving you money?" Why, the NBA's insane refusal to revamp theNBA playoffs you silly goose!!!
Look, I love an 11-games-below-.500-8th seed as much as the next guy, but there is no reason to have Conferences based on geography anymore. East and West made sense when these guys were flying commercial back in the 1970's; just look at the home and away records. (No, seriously, go do it. I don't have time to back up anything I say with hard evidence.) The travel made winning on the road far more difficult, whereas charter flights and private planes have completely negated any need for theoretically bi-coastal conferences. Just take the 16 best teams and get retarded in here!!!
Feel free to agree/disagree with anything from this post in the comments section.
peace
seezmics of educated consumers
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