Tuesday, April 15, 2008

4/20 Came Early This Year.

One minute, I'm blazing on my couch and watching "The Office" reruns.

Then this guy knocks on my door and grabs my TV remote.


He says, "Billy Bro Tolliver, you gotta watch this new show. It's all about former steroid abusers who made mediocre movies and somehow parlayed those two All-American activities into becoming Governor of California."


We watched the first few episodes in stunned silence. My mind started to wonder, and I began questioning my role in this crazy universe. I thought about my childhood, my awkward teenage years, and how my commute to work doesn't take me near a Dunkin' Donuts.


I eventually bored of the situation, mainly because my buzz had been killed by my guest's incessant fits of crying. Also, he had morphed into a bratty baby girl.


I decided to go for a walk with my sweet little dog Priscilla. She grabbed the credit cards and asked if we could get some iced coffee.


We encountered a friendly calculus professor during our stroll. His name was Daniel S. Hitferbrains and he gave Priscilla a pretty flower.


Unfortunately, Mr. Hitferbrains also morphed into an entirely different being from our initial encounter. Fortunately, his new shape was a delicious ice cream cake.


While enjoying our tasty calculus professor/ice cream cake, Priscilla explained the key to finding happiness in a seemingly pointless existence:
"Arf arf! Whoof! Brrrrrrrp. hehhhhhhehhhh."

We napped under a large tree and waited for Saturday night's show at Jammin Java.


I had a crazy dream that "Write/Hear" reached #11 on the CMJ HipHop charts in only its 2nd week.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Surprisingly Sexy Tuesday

We've all seen it happen.


A Tuesday night show has been on your schedule for a few weeks now. Even though you enjoy shows, it seems like the Tuesday night parties lack the fun-factor of weekend shindigs.


Maybe its because you have to work the next morning and can't get too drunk. Maybe it's because you've never understood why there isn't a Threesday, and have developed an unhealthy hatred of Tuesday. Maybe it's because Tuesday nights are traditionally "stay home and rub one out" night. For whatever reason, you don't look forward to the Tuesday night show but troop to it anyway.


And then, people like this make the Tuesday night show a fucking blast. (Oh, and this.)


There was a large crowd. The sound was damn good. The venue had a good menu. The beer and whiskey had people feeling frisky. Rhymes like that were flying all over the place. We went on last on a bill of four acts, and there was still a lot of people singing along to our pretty words.


I have thought long and hard about the reason(s) for such an unusual occurence. I have concluded that the intense promoting of Lady Maroo and all the acts was the main reason. Well, that and your mom was home so you couldn't comfortably rub one out.


In other news:
-"Write Hear" debuted at #17 on the CMJ Hip Hip charts. Suck my billboard!
-We have added three new shows and an interview to the schedule. Two of the shows will be on Saturday, April 19. "Wait a minute, two shows in one night?!? THESE ARE SOME CRAZY MOFOS!!!"
-Pictures and video of the surprisingly sexy Tuesday show will be available sometime next week. Until then, we all sing:


"What, what in the butt."